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Twenty something trying to figure it all out, knowing all along I never will.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Wasting Hotness in High School

I straightened my mane of curly hair tonight, and I look fantastic! Minus the ichy hives from God knows what covering my face, chest and arms...(another story for another day.)

Who knew I had thick, black hair, red carpet ready and down to my waist that flows behind me like Pocahontas.

My first thought after seeing my reflection in the mirror..."If only I looked like this in high school."

This isn't a new thought. Almost everytime I've had a "hot" day since high school graduation I've said that to myself, or something along those lines. And I imagine all the boys I thought were cute who never gave me a second look, and wish I could see their faces when they saw me looking like a bombshell!

I'M 26!!!!

So I consider this fantasy a little pathetic. And at some point I'm going to have to get over being the not hot girl from high school, because I have this fear that I'm going to be that mother who does who does everything to make her daughter the prettiest one in school because she never was.

Now let's not get confused. My complex is not because I wasn't cool or had low self esteem, and was some outcasted reject. On the contrary. My role in high school was very necessary, 3 sport varsity athlete, league champion in tennis, 2nd team all league in basketball, triple jump record in track, in all 4 high school musicals, on the honor roll, and was homecoming queen senior year...

But I never had a boyfriend, was never asked out on a date, barely even asked to school dances, and it's possible that 1 boy liked me for a couple weeks my junior year. I had a bus load full of guy friends who saw me as "One of the guys" which for the record NO girl wants to be unless she likes girls. I like boys.

And although I had SO SO much going for me in high school I wanted to be THAT GIRL. You know the one. The one who all the guys wanted, who they all talked about when they were with each other, the one they all scrambled to ask to the dance. The one who all the girls wanted to be.

I thought that being pretty would do all that for me.

I just needed a new set of eyes.

When I went to college I became THAT GIRL. (If only for a season.) And I realized it wasn't my looks. But I'd become a different, confident person, which made me feel pretty.

So when I have these thoughts now, about how I wish they could see me now. It's only because I know that who I am now is irresistible to them! And I kinda want to SHOVE that in their faces!

A mean thought, but I'm sure God agrees. And with the modern day internet this IS possible haha!!

And for the record...I'm glad I didn't waste my hottness in High School. It has so much more use now!


  1. Ha, I TOTALLY felt the same way in high school. Confidence makes all the difference. :)

    Thanks for the add on 20sb!

  2. Oh goodness can I relate! Something about the maturity of high school boys to the maturity of the boys in the adult world. HUGE difference.

  3. I know exactly what you mean. I was a bookworm in high school and now, especially on good hair days, I wish I could run into someone from high school and say "Ha! Check this out!"

    Man, that feels nice to get off my chest.

  4. I feel the same way and was thinking about doing a blog post on this! i didn't have a boyfriend 'til college.

  5. Isn't it funny the things we hang onto for so long? I kinda can't wait until my 10 year reunion =)

  6. I'm a sophomore in college and had zero confidence in High School. I feel like I'm slowly getting out of my shell. but it's so hard to just go for it. Oh and curly hair I have it and love it, it looks really good when someone attacks me with a straightening iron. Then again I feel kind of off when they do.

    This post was such a joy to read!


  7. Yea I always feel like a different person when my hair is straight. I act a little calmer and smirk a little more =)

  8. I can't believe the hours I spent in high school fixing myself up to try and impress everyone. It never really even made a difference. But I remember that when I looked good (to myself) I definitely felt more confident. Even if I was ugly to everyone else, I know that confidence is what really makes a person stand out in a good way. Ha. I kinda scared guys away in HS though. Oh well. :)

  9. As long as you don't waste your hotness now :)

    And I am pretty sure some of those guys were crushing on you back in high school too.

  10. I was such an oddball in High School.

    Was all about the JROTC. Was a superstar in that bubble, but outside I was awkward.

    Ironically I had a bunch of "boyfriends" but it usually only lasted a week, and resulted in me getting cheated on because I refused to "put out". Ha.

    Long time since High School. Still see the same people on Facebook - the memories.

    Glad your feeling fierce and hot darlin! You deserve it!

  11. I totally understand - I had boyfriends in high school, but really never cute ones. I was painfully skinny, I listened to my mother when she begged me to keep my hair cut short (mainly because she forced me to do it as a kid and I think it reminded her of how I looked when I was 5 - NOT a good look.)

    This makes me a bad person, but I get excited when I now see all the girls from high school who were so pretty back then, and they've all gained 50 pounds, whereas I've just moved from "painfully skinny" to "hot skinny." You know, if I do say so myself. It's so good to feel hot. Go you!

  12. It's good to hear that not everyone was a swan in High School!

    And Deidre I'm SURE nobody was interested. I'd even put money on it!