Who knew I had thick, black hair, red carpet ready and down to my waist that flows behind me like Pocahontas.
My first thought after seeing my reflection in the mirror..."If only I looked like this in high school."
This isn't a new thought. Almost everytime I've had a "hot" day since high school graduation I've said that to myself, or something along those lines. And I imagine all the boys I thought were cute who never gave me a second look, and wish I could see their faces when they saw me looking like a bombshell!
So I consider this fantasy a little pathetic. And at some point I'm going to have to get over being the not hot girl from high school, because I have this fear that I'm going to be that mother who does who does everything to make her daughter the prettiest one in school because she never was.
Now let's not get confused. My complex is not because I wasn't cool or had low self esteem, and was some outcasted reject. On the contrary. My role in high school was very necessary, 3 sport varsity athlete, league champion in tennis, 2nd team all league in basketball, triple jump record in track, in all 4 high school musicals, on the honor roll, and was homecoming queen senior year...
But I never had a boyfriend, was never asked out on a date, barely even asked to school dances, and it's possible that 1 boy liked me for a couple weeks my junior year. I had a bus load full of guy friends who saw me as "One of the guys" which for the record NO girl wants to be unless she likes girls. I like boys.
And although I had SO SO much going for me in high school I wanted to be THAT GIRL. You know the one. The one who all the guys wanted, who they all talked about when they were with each other, the one they all scrambled to ask to the dance. The one who all the girls wanted to be.
I thought that being pretty would do all that for me.
I just needed a new set of eyes.
When I went to college I became THAT GIRL. (If only for a season.) And I realized it wasn't my looks. But I'd become a different, confident person, which made me feel pretty.
So when I have these thoughts now, about how I wish they could see me now. It's only because I know that who I am now is irresistible to them! And I kinda want to SHOVE that in their faces!
A mean thought, but I'm sure God agrees. And with the modern day internet this IS possible haha!!
And for the record...I'm glad I didn't waste my hottness in High School. It has so much more use now!