I don't usually do random posts BUT I auditioned for GLEE today! And I'd love it if you'd visit my audition and give me a Gold Star. I don't know if the Gold Stars help you be chosen but it couldn't hurt to try huh?
I've figured out why my feet have hurt for the past 26 years, 7 months, and 21 days. I've been trying to walk in someone else's shoes! And I have BIG FEET!
I'm always jealous of someone else's job, their apartment, their income, their relationship, their shoes...when in fact, someone else may be trying to fill mine.
Why don't I see my life, my work, my time, my relationship as something to be jealous of?! I don't know? Maybe it's because I'm too close to see the blessing. But I'm most likely too greedy and want it all right now.
I've always wanted so much more out of my life than anyone I've ever known, so how do I expect to fit my big life into someone else's little shoes? My jealousy of everyone else is making me dream smaller!
So from today forward I will stop thinking that the best thing for my life is YOUR life, and become totally JEALOUS of the sexy life I'm living! (That was a joke. haha? Nothing about my life is "sexy" not even close.)
But I am on my journey to somewhere...and with God and the Internet, I'll get there.
(I totally get the irony of saying that on a public world wide blog, but I'm a living contradiction. I know. It gets worse.)
I don't like being judged and although I want others peoples opinions and advice...I DON'T WANT ANYONE'S OPINIONS OR ADVICE.
Today I complained about how my friends don't ask how I'm doing or what's going on. I got mad and complained and whined about how they don't care.
But last week my sister asks me what my plans are for the future and I end up bawling my brains out and writing a blog through tears/a blurry waterfall. (Not recommended. I did NOT end up posting it. Thank God I came to my senses!)
Then tonight my dad asks me what I plan on doing when I come back from the east coast this summer and I avoid eye contact, and shove my Philly Cheesesteak down my throat, while I mumble through my plan...
So although I'd like to spill my guts all over my family and friends, I can't. I'd rather spill them out to a world who will never meet me.
And with God and mostly the internet I can enable myself to continue showing myself to the world and hiding from those who love me. WHAT?!