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Twenty something trying to figure it all out, knowing all along I never will.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

No Relationship, I Just want your Babies Please.

It's not my fault that the only boyfriend I've ever had is the one that I have now. Seriously. I was the best me I could be, athletic, cute, funny. Guys were interested.

BIG CATCH: They all wanted only to have my babies.

None of them actually wanted to properly "court" me and be my boyfriend as I so desired. They strictly wanted to impregnate me and watch our babies transform into these Super Human, Brown, Sports God's.

"BEASTS" as they'd affectionately refer to "our offspring."

As I mentioned in an earlier post I was quite a little athlete and while I thought it was a great reason for a guy to want me to be his girlfriend, they thought it was an even GREATER reason to skip all that nonsense and go straight for what really mattered. Passing on their DNA to a female host with an uncanny ability to master sports.

Which makes it safe to assume this could be part of the reason I've been able to maintain wearing my chastity belt for so long. Because I knew these fools were trying to be anything but "safe" and with the incredibly fertile females in my family, I knew if we were alone when the lights went out I'd probably be spitting out triplets at 17.

They loved that I was "Black" (I tried to tell them I was only half and any babies with them would only make them lighter. But to no avail) and that I was the strongest girl in school, and couldn't be beaten in 3 varsity sports.

Needless to say I always had a crush on whoever was propositioning me for children and I had the toughest time smashing into their brain that I just wanted them to take me on a date and love me!

With all these guys wanting me to bare their children it's surprising I didn't have my first kiss until a few weeks before my 18th birthday, with the guy who literally wanted to create a Super Human Race and even asked his girlfriend if he could have babies with a Black Girl (in retrospect...I should have known that was going no where. =/ )

And although it was depressing that my ovaries interested the other gender more than my personality or even my hot body! I knew that if I was doomed to be an old spinster, I would always be able to fulfill my dream of having a family. I could just close my eyes point a finger and WHAH LA! Baby Daddy!

Which makes me wonder where these girls find these guys who never want to have kids, because it seems the only ones I can find are ready to jump on board...or in bed...

Luckily, for now, I don't have to be on the hunt for a man who doesn't ONLY want me too fatten me up with his "seed."

Because with lots of God, and a little internet, I've found someone who know's there's a possibility our children may not be brown, possibly a bit clumsy, not very good at math, and is still willing to take the risk of loving me anyway. *sigh* Finally!


  1. This is sooo cute but mostly it's 100% hilarious!

  2. Hiii! I left you an award on my blog! Check it out :)

  3. I'm half black as well and all of my life I've gotten guys who skip the wooing and go right to the baby talk. "You're so exotic looking, our kids would be beautiful" "You're so beautiful... just imagine your features and skin tone on a kid with my height and my green/blue/grey eyes".

    While someday my babies will be frikkin' gorgeous, and not just because they're the same color as me and share my "exotic" features, I'd prefer to be more than just a baby machine.

    Glad you found someone who sees your real value!