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Twenty something trying to figure it all out, knowing all along I never will.—Well, used to be a 20 something, and smart enough then to know now, that I will never figure it out.

Monday, February 1, 2010

It's yours! Give it to ME!

MINE MINE MINE!!

Does the 3 year old in you ever proudly present itself in your present life? You know when you're making a sandwich and your roommate (in my case, my mother) comes by to borrow the butter knife you took out, and starts to get butter for their toast, and you feel yourself SNATCH it back and yell...

that's MINE!

My internal toddler is about to bare her nasty whine.

Maybe it's me being hyper sensitive but I swear my inner circle is abusing my time. The main problem being that they don't take me starting a business seriously, therefore when I say I'm working, they hear I'm "working."

To the naked eye all anyone can see is me going to the thrift store and cutting up shirts in the back room of my parents house, with no real income and living out of my savings. Doesn't look like much huh? Well I gotta start somewhere.

So lately I've been getting a lot of requests to do things, random things like, babysit, open the garage door, drop off my dry cleaning, etc... all during my work day!

And it's not requested meaning: Can you do this? It's requested meaning: "Here's my dry cleaning. Take it to the one by the gym. Here's $4. That should be enough."

"Here's my baby, I need you to watch her this week."

"I lost my garage door opener. Stop sewing your bag and come open it for me."

WHAT!

I cried last night to KP, and being the engineer that he is, he tried to find and fix the problem. But I couldn't pin point it. All I wanted to say was MINE MINE MINE WHAAAAAAAAHHHH!

I'm living a life that has nothing to do with me.

Ever since I've been home I've scared myself into thinking that I'm burdening everyone by being here. So I've literally run myself ragged trying to make their lives easier.

I don't think it's bad thing to want my own things. Like my own time, my own problems, my own joys. Even poor people have these things.

I want to snatch my life back screaming MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!

With God, the internet and lots of time I can make this happen!






3 comments:

  1. i have felt like this before as well.
    and i checked out your shop, and your items are great!
    you do have to start somewhere, and you seem to have a great start.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Jill and Rachel, I appreciate the encouragement =)

    ReplyDelete